LOL

Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic

What a classic answer…..

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

lip
ranting

Trading

What is trading?

http://mediazone.jpmorgan.com/swf/flash_video.swf?screen=full&file_path=/videos/v1.flv

lip
ranting

Super Mario

lip
ranting

Wedding Regulations

Regulations

Wedding taboos the bride and groom should observe

1. To avoid clashing of luck, for three months before and after their wedding, the bride and groom will not attend a funeral or wake;
attend a wedding; visit a lady who is in confinement (ie within one month of giving birth).

2. If one of the parents passes away, the bride or groom has to be in mourning, the wedding will either be conducted within 100 days of the death, or postponed till 3 years (1000 days) after the death.
Note: Mourners engaging in entertainment and social activities such as weddings, birthday parties, festive visiting are considered being disrespectful to the deceased parent.

3. It is preferred that no one sleeps or sits on the bridal bed after its installation and blessing for fertility. If however, the groom needs to sleep on it before the wedding he should be accompanied by a young boy preferably born in the year of the dragon. To leave one side of the bridal bed empty is considered a curse on the health of the couple.

4. If the bride meets another bride on the wedding day their luck may clash. The matchmakers or the bestmen from the two bridal parties will exchange red packets on the couple’s behalf to neutralize the effect of the clash.

5. Bridal Veil
Traditionally, brides have been thought to be particularly vulnerable to evil spirits and many of the customs and traditions associated with weddings are to provide protection. The veil was originally worn by Roman brides. It was thought that it would disguise the bride and therefore outwit malevolent spirits.

The veil has symbolized privacy, modesty, youth and maidenhood. Moreover, veils are used to add to the final touches of a wedding dress and to frame the bride's face.

6. Wedding Bands
Wedding Bands: The neverending circle of a wedding band symbolizes eternal love by its lack of a beginning and an end. This tradition grew out of an ancient tribal custom of using circlets of grass to decorate a bride's wrist and ankles. The earliest evidence of wedding rings dates back to around 2800 B.C. in Egypt. In 860 the Roman Catholic pope (Nicholas I) declared that an engagement ring was required of all those who intended to marry; if either the man or woman later violated the vow to marry, he/she was excommunicated or banished to a nunnery. These were the times when women were thought of as property and the band was a sort of leash or band of ownership. The gold and silver commonly used for wedding bands today is derived from the customs of the Romans and Egyptians who loved precious metals and stones. And finally, the rings are worn on the third finger of the left hand because ancient cultures believed that finger had a vein running straight to the heart.

7. Flowers
Flowers have always been used for decoration at weddings.
Some people choose the flowers at the wedding on the basis of their symbolic meaning. For example orange blossom has always been associated with weddings because it signifies purity and chastity.

Peonies are avoided by some as they represent shame; azaleas represent temperance: roses symbolise love and snowdrops represent hope.

A combination of red and white flowers is avoided by the superstitious because they stand for blood and bandages.

However, people from different regions may attach other meanings to the same flower. For example lilies symbolise majesty to some but are thought unlucky by others because of their association with death.

The groom often chooses a flower for his buttonhole which also occurs in the bride's bouquet. This is a vestige of the time when a Knight would wear his Lady's colours to display his love.

8. Bridemaids - "Jie Meis"
Bridesmaids were dressed in a similar way to the bride for the same reason as the origin of veil. The bridesmaids were thought to act as decoys to confuse evil spirits and thus protect the bride. Must be single

9. Bestmans - "Brothers"
It is the best man's duty to protect the groom from bad luck. He must ensure that once the groom has began his journey to fetch his bride,does not return for any reason.
He must also arrange for the groom to carry a small mascot or charm in his pocket on the wedding day.

10. The First Purchase
It is said that the first partner who buys a new item after the wedding will be the dominant one in the relationship.

11. Shoes
Do not take off your shoes until your chinese wedding ceremony is over.

The modern custom is to remove the wedding shoes only after returning to the groom's home or bridal home after the bride's home visit to her parent's home.

12. Tea Ceremony
Traditionally teochew bride is fetched to the groom's home before daylight. If it is really too early and the groom's relatives have not arrived for the tea ceremony, the couple can have a short rest or an outdoor photo-session while waiting.

Tea ceremony for the relatives on the bride's side is usually held in the afternoon when the couple complete the "bride's home visit".

In some family, the bride (and some will choose to do so together with the groom) may serve her parents tea in the morning before she is married. When she returns for the bride's home visit, she is already a married woman.

The order of service is usually
1)parents,
2)grandparents,
3)grand-uncles and grand-aunties,
4)uncles and aunties,
5)elder brothers and sisters,
6)elder cousins
Home visit - 三朝回门
After the tea ceremony at the groom's family home, the bride will change out of her western style wedding gown. This change of clothes symbolizes the passing of three days!

The bride may choose to change into another western dress, a cheongsam or a traditional red chinese wedding gown called kwa.

For efficiency, modern chinese wedding usually compressed all the necessary events into a single day

ranting

ManSter!

I learned something new today.

1. I have a small penis, according to the 500+ emails I have got from people who tout Penile Enhancing Pills.
2. My wife/gf will never be satisfied until I can "fill her up".

This is how penis enhancements work.

Why and how they work

The penis is made up of 3 chambers, 2 large ones on top, which is your erectile tissue (Corpora Cavernosa), and 1 smaller chamber on the bottom from which you urinate and ejaculate (Corpus Spongisum).

When you are sexually aroused, your brain releases a hormone causing blood to enter the penis and fill your erectile tissue (Corpora Cavernosa). The cells in the Corpora Cavernosa are filled with blood until an erection is achieved. You can have a BIGGER PENIS!

ManSter will increase the capacity limit of the Corpora Cavernosa thus allowing more blood to enter the cavern creating a longer and thicker erection. ManSter stimulates cell growth within the corpora cavernosa itself. An increase in cells allows for more blood to enter the penis making the penis larger and the erection more intense. The corpora cavernosa are the two bodies of erectile tissue on each side of the penis. ManSter is 100% natural with no known side effects. All growth is permanent.

I truly learn something new everyday

lip
ranting

Need to revive blog

*does CPR*

Failed

Blog shutdown... Soon:)

I'll post some pics out soon, at the moment, I'm in HK - have been for 10 weeks, Trading Intern at the Credit Trading desk at Merrill Lynch.

Cheers
ranting

A time in the past

Raffles Institution: Progress Report

English: Lip Jin should take his work more seriously.
Math D: Lip Jin needs to put in more effort to do well.
A Math: Will require a lot of practice in Jun hols.
Higher Chinses: (Translated) You suck. Need to work harder. Class file is still not handed in!
Physics: Lip Jin must be more serious.
Chemistry: Underachieving for Chemistry, more effort needed.
Biology: Excellent (hahaha - I love caucasian teachers. They are just... sooo... full of bullshit)
Geography: no comments.

And in JC I rocked:)

Conclusion: RI sucked. HCJC rocked.

ranting

Going Home

Home is such a pull to my heart.

Can finally see my family, whom I miss so much. My dear sister, who probably has grown up beyond all recognition now. My brother, who probably is taller than me. My parents, who are probably aging and have more than their fair share of white hair.

And of course, all my friends, whom I've lost touch with one way or another. Because I've been the lousy friend who can't keep my promises and my contacts. And after 1 year away from home, I'm ready to return to the sunny island I call home.

Godspeed.

lip
ranting

20 of the best Free Photoshop Plugins and Filters ...

Plugins and filters extend Photoshop by providing new functionality and effects that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to achieve or by simplifying a process - here we round up the best Freebies



read more | digg story

Singapore and Clubbin

from http://thegreatsze.blogspot.com/

Clubbing and Singaporeans: Some Observations

Interestingly enough, I've found someone else who agrees with my etymology of the word "clubbing": it hearkens back to the time when cavemen hit cavewomen over the head with clubs and "picked them up" to return to the privacy of their caves for unresisted intimacy.

***

Last week, we decided to have a matchmaking session: Jasper with Queenie, and Chuck with Janine (I don't of course have friends named as such, in case you were wondering). The designated place for fun and frottage: Zouk. We wanted to feel old, I guess.

Now I know the focus of this entry should be on how Chuck and Janine got on like a house on fire, or at the very least on how Jasper and Queenie failed to get any semblance of a spark going. But with "Just Follow Law" fresh on my mind, I shall have to make some kind of broader point - apologies. I am a creature of habit.

It is a Wednesday, it is Zouk - so, needless to say, Mambo music. We sail along with the crowd, going through favourite after favourite. Everywhere around us hand motions are executed in perfect unison. The sea of sweaty bodies is united by a common love for signage. Everyone is smiling, happy, high, happy for the excuse, any excuse.

Suddenly, we are "Together Forever" no more. In Rick Astley's place, Sting begins to warble mournfully - "I'll Be Watching You". And, almost as if taking the latter's words to heart, our ad hoc leaders on the raised platforms stop signing. Some stop moving entirely, others whip out their handphones to - not look stupid? To have a personal touch in a sea of strangers? No one can tell. One thing is clear, however - the crowd does not like Sting. "At least play the P Diddy version, yo."

It is a classic moment. Singaporeans all of us, unable to dance to anything other than what we are familiar with. We say the government is too paternalistic, too controlling, knows too much of what is good for us, doesn't let us experiment. And yet we decide - spontaneously, full of the wisdom of a crowd, that we *do* want to be fathered, to be led, to be told what to do. No mambo song? Die lah! What do we do with our hands?

Of course it can be contended that the issue is for most part chicken-and-egg; we are mollycoddled constantly by the powers that be, so when confronted with new situation requiring adaptation, we know not what to do. But we cannot complain and at the same time remain incompetent, unexperimental. If we wish to employ the querulous logic of "gahmen say one, so we do lor! what can we do abourrit?", then when we are faced with a situation where we can *actually* do something abourrit, we better do something abourrit. Otherwise, not allow to complain.

Standing there in the midst of the listless, un-dancing throng, I knew that my gripe was that the gahmen didn't let us do our own thing enough. So I took it upon myself to make a political point; I started writhing madly to "I'll Be Watching You", hoping desperately that not too many people were watching. It was an endeavour, however, that was doomed to futility from the start.

Only in our nation do you get people who dance in a gigantic circle; only in our nation do you get synchronized hand movements as the preferred way to dance and to de-stress (okay Japan also got para-para); only in our nation do you get people who wait until around 12 midnight to start dancing (by which time the dance floor is completely congested). The reasons for these perplexing behaviours are manifold. We dance in a giant circle so as not to leave anyone out, to not offend anyone; we use synchroznied hand movements because this way we won't look stupid doing something that other people aren't doing, or at least we'll only look as stupid as the next person; and we only get down to the dance floor when everyone else is there already, so we won't appear to be over-eager, and at the same time we save ourselves from (perceived) intense scrutiny on an empty dance floor. As with the Japanese proverb: "The nail that sticks out gets hammered." (Hence they have para-para.)

Fundamentally, however, it all boils down to one reason: we are a nation of poseurs. We are all about the posturing, the appearance, the surface. We don't go clubbing to enjoy ourselves, to let our hair down; we go there to see who's out, to see what's worn, to hear what's being played, to gauge all the relevant trends, to network, to be seen, to feel all sophisticated holding a Shirley Vagina blah blah blah. ("Network is net worth", jesus.) Why else would we be so concerned about how we look to other people? Do you seriously think that anyone really looks at you in a club of hundreds or even thousands? The hand movements are an institution, you argue, as much as breakdancing or salsa are institutions. True, but the hand movements look bad and you wouldn't perform them if it was not for the next man performing them as well. You gain validation in your peers; you are nothing without your contemporaries. Everything in Singapore is of relative value; you must have that handbag because someone else has it, you must stay in Lorong Chuan because that guy who is dumber than you stays there. You must stay late at work because hey, nobody leaves at 6 pm anymore; in fact, 9 pm is a tad early, maybe tonight you'd better pull an all-nighter?

We have elevated relativity to some kind of cult status. We are so internal-perspectived that we no longer can see the value in absolute truths and pleasures anymore. Are you better off than Gurmit Singh's character in "Just Follow Law"? If you are, then you can be happy. It boggles the mind how many people go through their daily lives looking upwards, grasping and hoping and wishing for better, better, better. It's all good enough. We're all good enough. Enjoy time, enjoy your life here on Earth.

I remember the blog of my friend's ex: she writes, in a particularly angsty entry, that she is going to go crazy shopping and that she damn well deserves it, she's been slaving away like a dog for more than a month. I didn't feel happy for her when I read it; to me, that sort of lifestyle cycle is meaningless. The answer is THEN DON'T WORK SO HARD. None of us deserves to own these deified pieces of Louis Vuitton. They are for Mr Vuitton to stuff up his golden arse. Why would you want to own something that only brings back memories of the ridiculous toil you had to get through to own it? "Oh, here are my Manolos, I wasted 96 days of my life to get them!" "Wow, good for you! I levelled my Blood Elf Paladin to 70 in half the time!" (See, I can do irony too. But eh. Blood Elf Paladin is fun OK.)

As I proclaimed to no one in particular the other day: life should not be lived on hindsight. A lot of us say, XXX was tough, but on hindsight it was good. Why? I refuse to talk like that. Life is a process; and at any time that the process is not good going, you should do something about it. "I am having fun" is always better than "Looking back now, I had a lot of fun". The former is honest, in-the-moment assessment; the latter is compensated rose-tinted nostalgia. It is a lie to yourself, an after-the-fact self-rationalization for irrational behaviour.

All this from clubbing and Zouk! Whew I am pooped.

ranting

hi hi again

Haven't blogged in over a month now I think - I think blogging is only something I do when I have something to say to the general public, and currently my only feelings I have towards the general public is one of apathy.

But then again, friends do read this blog, and I do have to keep people updated on my life, no matter how much of it is reduced to work work and more work.

And I shall blog about work. Funny how Chicago Economics doesn't teach you Econ - it teaches you math. As in if you differentiate this, you get this. Show it's decreasing. Voodoo math - voila. What happened to the Economics? I learned more of Econ from my online coursework for SEO than from class. i.e. CPI, PPI, discount rates, LIBOR, ECI, - these are the bread and butter of economic indicators, and there we are in the classroom building models of how people behave.

Which doesn't mean I don't like it - I very much prefer Macro to Micro - haven't got a single A for Micro yet, and I remember back in JC, when I studied ONLY elasticity for micro and did 3 other Macro questions. So much more fun to talk big when you know very little haha.

And if you guys haven't known yet, I'll be in HK this summer. I won't be back in SG till ermm September earliest? Been taking a lot of finance courses - might be a route I want to take the in the future, and frankly, I find finance a lot more interesting than ermm... Philosophy or whatever goes for Courses in this University.

My transcript reads like a finance student - not an Econ student. Math, Statistics, Economics, GSB Investments, Financial Accounting, Intro to Finance, and the assorted German classes. I shall attempt to write in German now and then, just to screw around haha....

Aber ich kann nur ein bisschen Deutsch. Ich kam da und dad, geh zur und zur, und habe nicht mehr studiert. Ich bin nur eine kleine Menge auf der Welt gewusst.

I miss home. Happy CNY everybody - then again, my home is more fluid now that I have seen the world.

Ich bin mit dem Zeitgeist geflogen, und der Zeitgeist ist unberechenbar.

lip
ranting

Pictures

Singlish:)

lip
ranting

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year guys.

People especially on top of my mind:

1) Family - even though you guys are 12 hours away, happy new year! Wish you guys well and good luck in the upcoming year!

2) Wincy - Happy New Year dear:)

3) Jesse/Alex - Thanks dude for the Xmas in London, really, being good friends after all these years - amazing.

4) Abe/Anthony/Aidan (Triple As) - Happy New Year! My New York groupie - hehe nice hanging with you guys. And of course, Sam!

5) Jo - Hello welcome to NYC:)

6) Chan Lek/Jeff - My SG New York groupies!

7) Many others - In Chicago, In Singapore, from Church, from NAFA, from the Army - HAPPIE NEW YEAR!

lip
ranting