I am a private.

I dunno.

I think i tend to blog more about issues at the world, and not really about myself as much. Frankly, because i think if it is none of your god damned business, you shouldn't give a fuck about me.

Conversely, i am always interested in how's your day, and what's up in your life. Call me a busybody if you're negative, but i'm more likely to view it as being interested in that person and being a friend.

Of course, with all these taking of information and very little giving out, people have accused me of being cold, that they don't "know" me very well.

I like it that way just fine. I mean, why do i want so many people to know about me?

oh today, i had fried egg for lunch and rice and vegetables, and i sat down at the dining table and finished the straits times and after that i came to by computer and read forums and blogs and after that i'm meeting wenliang, shaun and yikai for mahjong at my place.

and last night, i went for supper with the guys at 1 am and because i was feeling a bit peckish i ordered stingray and kangkong (With rice) and mee goreng and kambing soup. and talked about british politics, american culture, geography and soccer.

now why would anyone in their right mind want to know that?

i know i am not forthcoming. i never have been. in fact, i like to be the observer, knowing much, but not giving up much information. that is just how i am. screw you if you think i don't consider you a friend because i don't tell you more stuff than i should.

but, i may break precepts.

lately, something disturbing has happened. ever thought about mix marriages?

i don't know. i seem to have aunts with korean boyfriends, swedish mixes, british boys and many others.

but what about ching-mat relations?

is it still accepted in traditional chinese families to have a ching-mat relationship? the couple may be in love, and there may be educational gaps and cultural differences.

but the most fervent opposition has to be from the families. whether the malay side, where the bride must marry into the religion, or the chinese side, where the parents dread "losing" a daughter they knew.

and even so, how about the grandparents?

my grandma said with a sad voice to me the other day when i was sending her for a medical checkup.

"She doesn't even eat pork anymore".

i don't know. maybe our younger generation is more open to such things, but even i am feeling the pressures of being the first grandson in a traditional chinese family.

i remember my grandmother bringing me downstairs when i was staying in laguna park, burning incense and paper "nuggets" for my ancestors. i took it up with gusto back then. folding, burning with glee. i was only 7.

and then i remember my grandfather is hospital, saved from a heart attack, the episode leaving him far weakened than ever before, and with much less mobility. he can still walk, thank god.

i don't know. why can't the younger generation make decisions entirely our own, for we have our families to answer to, and subsequently, our future wives and husbands and families to be. that we must do our best now for a better future tomorrow?

but then again, i am not one to worry about such intrigues. Que Sera Sera


Once again i have failed to blog happy post that makes people laugh, but rather a serious post that is a total counterbalance to my happy side that i prefer to show people.

how ironic. but those who know me, know that i have always been deep.


lip
ranting