You Know When You Are Crazy...

When You start talking to yourself.

I have that a lot.

I am crazy.

It all started with something. You know, the lady on the bus talking a lil too loud on her handphone, your friend taking a little too long in the toilet, your sister asking to use the computer for a little while. They trigger something in me. And I start imagining hypothetical scenarios wildly contrary to the actual outcome.

Example.

Frd: "Could I borrow this VCD pls?"

Me:"Sure!"

Me (thinking): "NO you can't you bastard. Who Am i to you so that you can borrow my stuff and not return it for the next billion years you shit head. wHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM. Go buy your god DAMNED own SET OF VCDS! DON'T ASK ME FOR IT YOU FUCK. I'm NOT YOUR FUCKING MAID or your fucking mother who can have sex with you whenever you wanna and whenever you need to jerk off. I also know you want it because of that scene in chapter 3 around the time 40 min and 11 sec where the heroine takes off her clothes and you wanna rewind it over and over and over again and jerk off infront of your god damned tv every single fucking night.

Me:"please return it after you're done."

Frd:"Sure".

And i'll never see it again.

And you know, it's the same thing with SMS and MSN.

Frd:"Hey how are you"

Me (thinking):" I DON'T WANNA CHAT WITH YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH. LEAVE ME ALONE. I wanna chat with that girl who keeps on giving me the cold shoulder and so i'm returning the same treatment but she's probably happier than me and thus i am seething inside me and i refuse to answer your god damn loaded question which would lead me down the path of no return and i have to type and type and type and answer in the form of good will. SO FUCKING HELL GET LOST AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Me (typing):"Hey! I'm Fine! :) How's your day? been busy?

And the list goes one.

Or how about today in the cab.

Taxi Driver:"look at this information dial that can display colours on the screen and it helps me navigate but it's not as good as the previous version which had a little red dot and blah blah (drone on)"

Jesse:"Cool."

Me (thinking):"SHUT the fuck up. IF I WANTED TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS I WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU YOU STUPID FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM. I WANT A PEACEFUL RIDE TALKING WITH MY FRIENDS AND NOT ADMIRING YOUR LATEST GADGET AFTER BEING 1 FREAKING MONTH AWAY FROM THE DAMN ISLAND THAT IS MY GOD DAMN HOME AND IT's fucking boring and i haven't been clubbing and i'm bored and i need to see some people whom i really wanna meet who just don't give a fuck about me because they are busy with some dickheads (drone on)

Me (saying): "Cool! What is that button for?"

ARGH!!!!

Case closed.

Chances are, you have to be my really good friend to catch me talking to myself in a audibly loud volume that really pisses authorities off and probably would piss you off too. Try catching me when i'm drunk or ask me out for a drink.

Yay. I love life. Now everyone knows what i'm really thinking.
Shit. I Should've shut my god damn mouth up.

lip
ranting