This got me thinking

So i was blog surfing again, at 4 a.m. on a Thursday night, with absolutely no one to talk to online (because I don't feel like) and catching up with the day's news.

Nadal is out of Wimbledon, 40m credit cards hacked, Engineers have the greatest job satisfaction, etc.etc.etc.

And then I stumbled upon a linked blog.

And it got me thinking.

Sometimes, i wonder if we all have moved from our relationships far enough. I have always thought that the transtion for a couple from being a couple to "friends" is in practice almost nearly impossible.

In short, Ex-es are people you and love, and that doesn't change. That's what I feel.

You see, relationships are more about heart than head, about attraction more than anything. You can read all the theories you like, but when you fall for someone, bam, you're it.

And people take time to learn. I think most people tend to take relationships one at a time. To rule with their heart in their first love, to step back and take things slow in subsequent before they finally strike a balance between loving someone and being a "best friend".

I don't know. But you see, I've never met a guy friend who hasn't move on entirely since. Out of the top of my head, i can safely say that every single guy is still in love with his girlfriend(s), or at the very least, his first girlfriend.

That was when there were no responsibilities, no social barriers, no 4000 mile distances to separate two people who deeply wanted a romance. Not a pragmatic love that comes with age, but a romance that just twirls you off your feet and fulfils every cinderella story you've ever read.

sometimes, i'm glad i've thrown everything away. Other times, i really miss those memories that the letters, the gifts and the small postcards could bring. I keep my penpal letters and cards from my friends, but I don't have a single thing left from her.

you see, it's just too painful. perhaps, the fear of losing someone for a long period of time just took us apart. i mean, how many times has it happened before? It isn't the present that tears you apart, it's the fear of the future.

thanks, my friend, for a good talk last night. you know who you are =) i can't say.

and on a final note, i am going to close this blog down soon. again, it's a running away from my past, perhaps, an erasure of my memories that have become too painful to recall, such that you only recall the beautiful memories and relive them in your head.

I don't know, but perhaps we all have taken a bit longer to heal. And all of us find our own solace in things we do, be it music, poetry, blogging, jumping up and down or just plain looking for a fling.

thanks to all my friends who have frequented here. I shall save my entries and start a new life once i'm gone.

Just counting down the days till i leave. No regrets, no worries. trying to leave it all behind somewhere, sometime, someplace.

peace
lip
ranting