Detached

Part of the problem about being a guy is that there are all these social expectations that weigh you down.

Guy-guy relations and guy-girl relations differ so much in scope and in type that it's often a fucking CHORE just to connect with people.

But then again, we are all humans, and we are all social creatures. But we are all afraid of being penetrated down to our social core, to who we really are, to the person deep inside all of us.

We show that root only to those we really care about, and to those we trust the most. Isn't that what emotional trust is all about? To love the very SOUL of the person? Whether good or bad, rotten or messed-up, whether they differ from you or whether they are similar?

For there are always differences between the face we show the world and the face we keep hidden. Whether there is a geniune fear of being hurt, of having our trust ripped about. Whether there is a GENUINE TRUTH in this fucking world.

I'm in my angsty mood, so forgive my rants. Being interested in people is a must for good social relations, but what about people being interested in you? Do you reject them? Do you side-step and launch a counterstroke? Are you such a bastard that you can only invest your trust in people after they have invested theirs in yours in a tit-for-tat situation?

Or is that real humanity? Where everyone is self-centered and individualistic, where there can only be emotional exchange at the self-interest of people (ala Smith).

Sigh.

lip
ranting