Boy's Town @ Belmont

Went down to Boy's Town @ Belmont with Andy, Aiko and Helena for dinner and the Halloween parade this evening. It was pretty awesome, thanks Andy for driving us down and sharing his philosophy:). Which is pretty much mine: People matter.


PICTURES!

We had dinner together at some Japanese restaurant. It was great! Haha. You can read Aiko's blog about the ratings for the Jap restaurant, after all, she's Japanese and you can trust her taste in sushi!

Some pictures from the night from the halloween parade. More pictures will be sent by Andy Tan soon!



It was raining so it was pretty cold... Went Regents later for dumplings:)



It was a very good day:)

lip
ranting

Autumn

The leaves are red, the weather is getting cold, and I need a car... 

Amazing Room

My roommate FINALLY got round to housekeeping. and Frankly, I'M IMPRESSED! 

Navy Pier

Top of the Ferris Wheel @ Navy Pier. Freaking COLD. And that leather jacket is something new that I just bought THAT DAY:) woo hoo 

My sister and her comments:)

Ok, so I was church camp committee president back in 2001, and now, in 2005, my sister is heading the church camp. Good luck:). We had a fun time 4 years ago.

And this is what she says about me:)

"my brother is spending alot of money and now he wants a car. yeah. good job! BUT OH WELL that's better than being shot and killed by blacks roaming the streets." -Oct 29th

"and the leeying award goes to coolest guy on earth: tie between dad and elder bro" -Oct 24th

And to think I used to write "leeying is stupid" in glow-in-the-dark chalk right above my parent's TV (it's still there), and treated her pretty shit for almost 18 years:) haha.

Yay! My sister rocks!

Check it out @ http://overandoveragain.blogspot.com/

lip
ranting

Memories of the past...

A friend asked me why I put:

"memories of the past,
illusions of the present,
hope for the future"

in my sidebar.

I guess it was what I came up with after Sep 2003:). Where the past was so transient and dear to me and I was holding on to it so much, the present seemed like an illusion. (all the weights, the stripping in the army, the studying, the bridge building, the hazing (or tekkan in Singlish). And I was hoping for a better future.

I guess that future has arrived. So, maybe the present is an illusion, but at least, it's a oasis in the desert, not merely a mirage that does not hold. Let's see how long the hope lasts.

Carpe Diem.

lip
ranting

Why I blog the way I do.

Because:

1) The people who read this are those who truly give a shit. If you don't give two hoots and want to read it to garner (negative) information that you can use against me, well i'm not affected by what you think:)

2) I blog because I am. It's a outlet for thoughts. And frankly, I don't care what you think. It's mine! muhahaha... (copyrighted)

3) My roommate's in his underwear and playing loud country-type music (he'll argue if I call it country music). So I blog.

4) Well, it's just me:)

P.S. No, I don't owe you dinner Shar. You lost the bet.
P.P.S and I don't owe you four seasons Hanxue:) hehe. next time, sign a contract!. BECAUSE I DID NOT PUKE! haha. (or at least I can't remember)

lip
ranting

I miss....

Clarence - for the stupid DoTA sessions and general ability to talk crap about anything and anyone whenever we meet up, and for the equally fast switch from random banter to deep and thoughtful conversation about everything and anyone...

Jesse, Alex, ZL, JR and gang - for soccer nights, mahjong nights, drinking nights @ Walas and for generally being the mainstay of my social life back in Singapore.

Debi, Wendy, Mich, Maria, Weng - for the 01S70 action that always seems to be around whenever we guys hang out. And for the friendship and unspoken concern that will always be around.

Joanna - for generally being there whenever she wants to (like a cat) and calling at random times for clubbing and prata (depending on whether she needs my car or not).

Sharleen - for teaching me so much about life:) and generally being a bitch at most times, and at the same time, someone whom I used to love. (key: used to).

Wenliang, Des, Hanting and army gang - for the times we spent back in camp, to the chao geng times, and the tough times, from Ex Spade (thanks Elliot!) to 24 km Route March, Ex Beaver Venture and EOAC, to all the fun times and strip shit. Yay!

Sheryl! For being my latest coffee buddy and future work colleague (groan, work!)

XY, WZ, Ben, Faith etc - For being strong in faith, friends in more faithful times, and for generally caring about me:)

Being insommatic at 5 a.m. really sucks. Because you start thinking about life... and how shallow relationships are in America. It's hi, bye, carry on with your own thing. Individuals i guess, and you can't build up a solid friendship over a cup of coffee or a beer (mainly because everyone is underaged).

Resolve: To build more college friendships. Not transient ones that start with "hi, how's it going" and ends the moment you see someone else.

Maybe that's what I've been needing all this while...

I'm lucky to have friends:)

lip
ranting

Detached

Part of the problem about being a guy is that there are all these social expectations that weigh you down.

Guy-guy relations and guy-girl relations differ so much in scope and in type that it's often a fucking CHORE just to connect with people.

But then again, we are all humans, and we are all social creatures. But we are all afraid of being penetrated down to our social core, to who we really are, to the person deep inside all of us.

We show that root only to those we really care about, and to those we trust the most. Isn't that what emotional trust is all about? To love the very SOUL of the person? Whether good or bad, rotten or messed-up, whether they differ from you or whether they are similar?

For there are always differences between the face we show the world and the face we keep hidden. Whether there is a geniune fear of being hurt, of having our trust ripped about. Whether there is a GENUINE TRUTH in this fucking world.

I'm in my angsty mood, so forgive my rants. Being interested in people is a must for good social relations, but what about people being interested in you? Do you reject them? Do you side-step and launch a counterstroke? Are you such a bastard that you can only invest your trust in people after they have invested theirs in yours in a tit-for-tat situation?

Or is that real humanity? Where everyone is self-centered and individualistic, where there can only be emotional exchange at the self-interest of people (ala Smith).

Sigh.

lip
ranting

A bit of a urhhh moment:)

This is interesting:) hehe. I don't know what was happening! haha. But Serene's on the right, very high, very loud... from left: Andy, Germaine, Xuda and Serene. Don't tear any more guy's shirts please, Jianfeng is enough :) 

Jiahui and Bryan:)

Truth or dare. To piggy back someone around the room:) So he goes for his wife.. :) 

Andy Tan: Mambo King

This guy is the Lao Da:) Life of the party:) haha. He KNOWS ALL THE MAMBO MOVES! JO! Let's MAMBO! haha

New Zouk... Can't wait... 

Wincy!

Cute right! I mean the guy on the right:) haha. Thanks for the Photos Wincy! Too bad I don't have Stella's photo, cos she baked the cake, RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE! And I didn't realise. gosh 

The First years!

From left: Me (With beer, Kenneth, Wai Keong, Sibo, Jason, Calvin, Yik Lei)! We had an awesome time (at least I did). Me, Jason and Kenneth stayed over:) 

Birthday girls!

Thanks to Hanxue (in blue, foreground) for providing the Apartment for the party! And i didn't even know it:) From left: Annie (yr 3), Helena (yr 3),, Hanxue (yr 2) , Wincy (yr 2) and Germaine (yr 3). I think hanging out with seniors rocks:) hehe 

Happy Birthday to Me from Chicago

The best things about birthdays is how everyone remembers and you don't.

You wake up, think it's a normal day, your friend invites you over for dinner and a party, you go without any inkling, you have loads of fun, your friend's roommate bakes a cake for you which you go over and STUPIDLY ask: Hey! who's this for, and you believe her lie that it's for someone other than you. And you have ABSOLUTELY NO FREAKING IDEA that there was going to be a party for you and friends came and everything.

then suddenly, bam, it's 12:00 am and there's this cake (which you watched being baked) and everyone starts singing and you ALREADY had like 20 shots and you just start acting really sketchy.

And your dad calls the next morning to wish you happy birthday and you are at your friend's place and there's no reception and people leave you stuff on your facebook and you have 1001 msn messages wishing your happy birthday and your come back to your dorm @ 11 am.

Bad.

:)

But fun! And wish me luck!


lip
ranting

My really cool desktop

Yay! My transformation to an apple is finally complete! haha 

Math Mid Term is tomorrow.

and i'm blogging. Bad Bad me.

Anyway, I think classes are getting more and more interesting. We had a class on Herodotus today, about ethonography and anthropology and on Greek/Persian History.

And in Sociology class, we went through the Communist Manifesto. Interesting that. French Revolution, Industrialization, Smithian 1776 theory Versus Marxist 1848 Theory. I should have taken like European history during O levels or something. Oh well.

Back to math. Archimedean Principle, L'Hospital's Rule and L.U.B axiom. Here we go!

lip
ranting

Let there be light

And there was light 

Fuck all ye who enter here

The entrance to my dorm room:). Fuck all ye who enter here. and Hongyan! I met Julia from NUS/Upenn. Please acknowledge because we both agree you are a very very good drinker. 

Piana SHOWCASE!

And being the egoist that I am, I must trumpet the fact that my piano is soo good, they asked me to perform next Thursday at the showcase. So come and watch! Haha. Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody no. 10 will be played. Hopefully, well:). 

Entrance to the Suite.

So I have to enter 2 doors to get into my room. That's the first door. Enter. Right side, Shower room, Left side, Toilet. Common space right inside the door. Splits into 2 rooms, left side my room. 315B. Right side, Anthony's and Jon's room. Understood:)?

P.S. I stole the caution tape from downtown from some construction. I hope no one dies as a result of the removal of Caution Tape. 

My room

Room photo! After my room mate moved in. Bed on the left is mine, as is the messy desk in the foreground. Check ou the new Harmon Kardon speakers and my Seinheiser HD 250 Headphones. Woot! 

South Koreans

June Hyuk, Sang and Suhgoo from left to right. Interesting people. That guy on the left is ranked #16 in the world for Maths. And i thought Calvin was good:). Sang is very good at guitar, and Suhgoo's a pretty funny dude. 

Suite Mates

My suite mates, Anthony on the left and Jon on the right. My room mate has not arrived yet (this was taken first week of school). I'll get a pic of him up ASAP. Once I get over the laziness of taking pictures 

Interesting Cap

Shopping @ Aurora, where I bought a $170 Calvin Klein Winter Jacket, $70 timberland boots, and various cardigans and shirts for a grand total of $350 of shopping.

And Nike is pretty cheap here too. So is Levi's

hope everything is sexy out there

i need money.

wtf.

29th & 3rd in college.

she dumped me on my law school graduation day.

i recommend the movie "woman in the window" to you guys. it is filmed in 1945, black and white, film nior woman. chio.

i do my laundry and fold my clothes. i am such a nice boy.

i have cool earphones. and i will throw 4 parties when i turn 21. :D

Hanxue @ Lip's Dorm

Republicans in America

"I'm all for Bush, who made this country great again" -Quoted.

Wow. The same Bush who had his infamous bushisms and decided to go to war against Iraq based on WMD reasons. (like Baghdad beans produce farts which pollute the Earth because of Greenhouse gas effect (Which incidentally, Kyoto is not part of his agenda)).

I'm disturbed by that one comment. Classic redneck American from the South, elitism and imperialistic over the rest of the world. (Though they don't show it, but they think it.).

Nice. Really nice. And i have a lot more to blog about, but then, I have a Power, Identity and Resistance class in 25 minutes and I need to refresh Smithian theory in my head before the Prof. comes down on me for my poor understanding of Smith.

lip
ranting

The Aim of Frat Parties

Is to get drunk.

.Nuff Said. And it's very sad that's the one and ONLY aim.

Unless you're there to dance, and then you have to contend with groping and dirty dancing with perfect strangers who try to kiss you.

Not good.

So next time, I shall just go to apartment parties, where I can talk to the people there (ahha! More relationship voodoo stuff), and actually get to know them better.

I have to go for Andreas Schiff's Bach concert downtown. Will update later. But this is the first weekend, I didn't even FEEL like drinking, because, alcohol just tastes sooo bad.

lip
ranting

Getting into the swing of things

After a inordinately long period of time without any academic pursuits, my brain decided to take a vacation and decided that it would not inform me either of its whereabouts or of its estimated return date.

I have resorted to undertaking a quest to search for. and hopefully, find out, the whereabouts of my brain.

After being without it for the first 2 weeks of class, it finally made an appearance at Statistics 23400 today. "Hey lip jin without a brain, i'm back! and therefore, I am going to help you understand what the lecturer is saying!" (I shall not go into the complexities of illustrating how someone can function normally without a brain).

And *poof*. I can understand what the Prof was saying. And thereby, I can actually do my homework and get a decent grade for the class.

Yay!

lip
ranting

My parents know the existance of my blog

Bad.

Hi dad, Hi mum! Welcome! haha. I'm currently reading objects of Ethonography for Humanities class (Wtf) and trying to figure out how to get my stats book in time for the test next Monday, which I am kinda screwed for because my stats book doesn't arrive until MONDAY!

Yay. Die die die.

lip
ranting

A brief episode in my life

And so it ends.

Past week has been interesting (especially Hanxue and her drunkedness), and some encounters with the Venusians from Planet Venus. And perhaps, this has awakened my conciousness that, yes, there are other species on the planet earth besides us Martian Men.

And that of course, refers to the Venusian female.

For since 2003, I have been cloistered inside my own emotional wall and that I have been afraid to let it take hold of me again. Some friends have told me to learn to live and love again, but perhaps, it is not so simple and definitely not as rewarding to keep yourself walled up.

So here goes nothing. And Chicago, beware:)


lip
ranting

Sex in the city

None yet.

Sadly.

But I did get a few parties under my belt, went to a weed party (no I didn't inhale), had a few scary moments with cops, bought beer illegally into my dorm, had a aggro-drunk pounding the door to Max P, finished my Maths homework due on Friday, and tried out for jazz.

Yoz


ranting

Chicago Aims

And So here I am in the Windy City of Chicago.

I'm going to take Humanities - Reading Cultures, Social Sciences - Power, Identity and Resistance and Math Calculus 3:). 3 courses, pending the music 15100 course in Harmony on Monday. Hopefully, I can pink slip my way into the course.

So much reading to do. It's like 8 books in 10 fucking weeks. The only time I ever did that was during Wheel of Time Mania. And the new book is coming out wayy soon...

On another note, made some friends here, a lot of asians, but Chicago is pretty cool, with VERY intellectual people (almost nerdy, but cool nerdy, not nerdy-nerdy). Difference is, they can spout Plato and Socrates but they do it at col times, like when discussing how Chocolate Chip cookies are better than Milk.

Yup.


lip
ranting

P.S. to that commentor:), nerdy-nerdy is pretty cool too, cos these are the guys that come up with the Nobel Prize winning theories and find cures for AIDS. be open minded dude:)

Haven't Really Blogged

I guess I kinda got lost during the O week with all the various activities and stuff happening. It's pretty cool to be in a different country, studying the culture and interacting with the denizens, even if they have a crap president and speak ALMOST a different language:).

Communication isn't really hard, it's just different. Perhaps I have been speaking with a Singaporean slant for far too long; I get the impression people just don't understand me around here:). Which is fine, because I can just attribute some smart ass comment which falls flat on its face to the "language barrier". Yeah.

Got into Math 15300 (which is like Calculus, by parts, implicit etc, cos I never really studied:). I DON'T have bragging rights to say I can take Honors Calculus, but then again, bragging rights don't count for much in this place, because everyone seems to be able to spout Plato and the 3rd law of thermodynamics at will.

It's REALLY academic around here, which is good. Because after 2 years of crap, I really need to get my mind attuned back to the studying culture.

STOP! I just realised I kinda BLOG different now! It's in PERFECT FUCKING ENGLISH! shat:).

Then again, the people are fine. Most of them are younger, but most of the Americans are really mature for their age. College is like this BIG thing where everyone leaves home and kinda is a rite of passage for the US kids. Well, ain't that much of a problem for me, even though I'm like 3000 miles away from home.

Well, it'll be fun. We'll see how it goes. Gonna take Humanities (CRAP-writing again), Social Sciences (lots of readings!), Math and hopefully, Music. If not, I'll just do 3 in my first quarter:)

Ciao!

lip
ranting

Pictures say a thousand words

My dorm room (desk view)...


My dorm ROOM! (with WALK IN CLOSET)
Rockefeller Chapel. I might go back for service.


Pre-Orientation International Students...


School BUS! TO downtown!


ranting

In Chicago!

From the windy city:)

Hello dudes! It's my 3rd day in the Windy city, having a lot of fun so far, just slacking around and enjoying the coolness of Chicago.

Well, Chicago is very... black, i should say. Except for the university area, but it's roughly what you see in New Orleans on the TV. Yeah. Lots of da4 fei2 pang4 de hei1 ren2 (use chinese in case shit happens).

That's Chicago GSB on top. It's mainly old style American Buildings here. And my parents love the architecture. Blah.

Time zone difference is around 13 hrs.(Essentially, morning = night in Singapore.)

Set up my bank account already (WOOT!), and been touring Chinatown (LOUSY LOUSY FOOD) and a bit of Downtown. Tall skyscapers (John Hancock and very very windy. I kinda like it here:)

Well, some of the Koreans ARE quite chio:), but then, I think I'm here to study.

Shat.




And that's my gate 19 from Minneapolis to Chicago!










lip
ranting

Dating & Going Out

And so the debate rages on... What is dating? and what constitutes going out as friends?

I dunno:) and frankly, I don't bother. Because everyone is a friend at the moment...

So, MORE FRIENDS! and here's to the muggers at Uchicago! dy/dx!

zzzz.. Wikipedia is AMAZING for memory recovery btw:)

I shall wiki Ideal Gases next.

lip
ranting

I love you guys!

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door, I hate to wake you up to say good-bye
But the dawn is breakning, it's early morn
The taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh Babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
And I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go I'll think of you
Every song I sing I'll sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh Babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh Babe, I hate to go

I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh Babe, I hate to go

I'm leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane (repeat to fade)


lip
ranting

CLUTTER!

I was looking for my bloody fucking maths textbook...

And I ended up clearing my old old old PRIMARY FUCKING SCHOOL SHIT FROM MY CUPBOARDS!

FUCK MY FUCKING DAD! Keeping all the SHIT (oh your brother might use it, give it to the salvation army etc etc etc.) BULLSHIT!

JUST THROW OUT THE WHOLE DAMN THING FUCKING HELL!


lip
ranting

MAF

Mid autumn festival was swell...

I'll always remember the HCJC songs.. Like Dang Ni Gu Dan, and other very very obscure songs like "Qing" something something and all the melancholic shit.

It does feel good to be back

lip
ranting

I've Never Been To Me

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Nice and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Neice and the isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children that might have made me complete)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me

lip
ranting
for a friend...

My 2nd Luggage weighing 20 kg. Note the Crumpler bag:) Hand luggage is my Vaude Backpack. Wireless internet in dorm available via airport express.

My life packed away into a luggage weighing 32 kg.

My sis's frd going off to the US of A. My turn soon:) Who's the most chio one of them all?

How true

"well. don't be afraid to love. i know you've been through something painful and hurting. but that doesnt mean you should turn all cynical n disbelievin abt the goodness of love. someday ,someone will come along. if you choose to dwell in the wounds of your past relationship(s), then you'll be passing that person up."

Then again, a lot of us withdraw into this tiny space where only we exist in order not to let ourselves be harmed anymore. It's more about self preservation. We'll see what life brings.

Perhaps. My aunt's a spinster:)

lip
ranting

Packing Status

Ahh well.. I'm leaving in 6 days time. I can't wait...

In a way, it has been good to know everyone in Singapore. And those who are currently overseas as well. I found out who my true friends are, and thank God, I am truly blessed to have good friends that I can depend on.


To pack in memories:
My 70 clique, Lex, Jess, ZL, JR.. soccer and mahjong buddies. Not to forget Chan Lek, Jeff, Joses, ZY. And of course, the "bimbos", Wen, Debz (thanks gal), Weng, Maria, Honk... and all the others:) Though I dun know u all that well... Agnes (for Hp cover:) still,), Jenn (for a lot), Zining, Sylvia, Sinyi, Kaysing...
(i know i missed a lot of peeps)

4L shitheads. James (for fire and mayhem), Will, Jared, John, Clarence, Jon blah blah blah.. U know who u are:) Those that pushed into the pool, those that sat around the east coast BBQ doing god-knows-what, those that I threw penknives at...

My church (okay, ex-church friends), xy, wz, Ben, Faith, Jp, Edwin, Angeline, Jiawen, Yiwen and all your little buggers that have made my day before. Thanks a million. And may God continue to bless you (Go ye forth, those with faith...)

Army mates: WL, Shawn, Dann, Joel, Jeremy, Wenqi, Dennis, Eric... As well as EOAC (where I learnt the most about myself), and EOCC, OCS friends... Some are Hi-Bye friends, others have more to talk about and yet others have taught me how to live:). Too numerous to name, but yet, are always there... Thanks. Also, OC Sir, and Mr. Soh and Maj Chang. Learnt the most from you guys. And of course, Des:) I know you visit often.. hehe.

My Pl deserves a big packing into my Singapore memories too. Thanks for letting me learn, and fail, and pick myself up. Thanks for all the tolerance for all the shit mistakes:), the (blatant sometimes) favourtism, the good times and the bad. Wish you guys all the best.

And of course, my other friends... For friends have no categories, but they are just friends. People whom I have known, Hwee Lee (cos i met you today:), Sheryl, Shar, Jo (if you would still consider me one- i know i would), Ger, too many....

And thanks Dad, Mum, Sis and Bro, for putting up with me for 21 years. I will miss you guys. Time to show that I can put that foot ahead of me without falling down finally, to be independent AND RESPONSIBLE in another country. Sis, u're fat, but not that fat... Yet;) And your friends are chio... there... Take care of dad and mum; rebel, but only if you have a clear and morally correct goal in your life:) I know u'll read it, someday. And Yang should be pushed a little... Cos he's too slack as compared to us liao.

Thanks to relatives. Aunts, uncles. Grandma (may you health be well), and granddad (you too). They all dote on me, and whether I still deserve that unconditional "doting", well, I'm not complaining:).

Farewells are never forever, but this is just a small sample of my entire life, and who are the most important in them. A new life, a new beginning, but always, reflection can be the most important anchor in your life forever.

I am blessed indeed.

(on another note, I'm given 138 kg of baggage because my parents are travelling.... That's the literal packing:)

I realised that I never really appreciated those people who have been around me. That's just a selfish trait in me, one that I have been trying hard to abolish. There is no such thing as perfection; you can always strive to be friendlier. to be more understanding, to care for your friends more... Some I have not, others, I have tried my best; and my best always falls short of what I aspire to be. Thank you for accepting me as who I am.

Truly, "people" are the most important things in your life.

lip
ranting

Party?

Sheesh

My back turned, and my grandmother manages to make my dream of a SMALL family party become some big shit.

100 odd guests now. With caterer and I think chefs thrown in. Plus some shit big cake thrown in. I could almost groan.

But then again, I hope to see all my friends there:) Okay?

lip
ranting

You're blessed when...

You know you lead a blessed life when...

... you have friends who let you puke over them and their car, but still send you home even though the next day, they have to clean said car...

... you have parents that see you lying on the floor dead drunk and the next morning, they ask if you want breakfast and said nothing...

... you start blurting out a lot of shit only when you closest friends are around, lest anyone else sees you acting like a fool...

... you're flying off in 9 days and hopefully, all the shit won't catch up to you because you're far far away...

Yes, I do lead a charmed life.

lip
ranting

Alcohol Tolerance

My level is around, 3 beers, 3-4 vodka mixers, and around half a bottle of PURE vodka.

Quite high, I may add.

ranting

I got Drunk

For the first time in recorded history, I got drunk.

And pretty much said things I would never say anywhere else. Thank god there were only close friends around to hear what I said. I can vaguely remember...

And happy birthday Clarence. Haha. Kinda fun, but I had more self control than that. It was that last bit of Absulut Vodka that finally did me in, as much as all the shit I had before.

Now I have to get my bag back from Jesse, and thanks to Jess, Lex and Debz for getting me home, not to mention Dad, for putting me back in bed.

Lol. And he said I was sleeping everywhere, On the floor, in the bathroom etc etc etc... Thank god no one raped me:) haha


lip
ranting

Leaving Soon

And here I am, 3rd September. 10 more days before I leave the sunny island for windy Chicago.

A friend asked me if I was ready to go last night. Am I? Somehow, you have waited so long to be gone, and when the moment finally descends upon you, you are struck by the finality of it all.

I am leaving behind a broken friendship, a (semi-)successful band (go Leftovers!), friends whom I've known for long, friends whom I have just made, family, cousins. Essentially, I'm leaving a life that I've known since I was conscious of my surroundings.

But then again, it ain't that different from spending time in the army. The biggest difference I can see is that instead of that Ching buddy you have besides your BMT bedside, you have a Pakistani New-Yorker as your room mate.

Attachments have been made and cast aside long ago. There is nothing left here for me to stay for. Although my memories of this place will always lead me to call this place my home, I am looking for a new life elsewhere.

And to think that back in army, I wanted to go SMU and stay in Singapore because there was something I thought was worth staying back for.

Bullshit. Sometimes, we humans have to be pragmatic. And selfish. Think only about yourself, inward looking and what you can achieve. Sometimes, I miss that guy back in 2003, thinking about others (ok, 1 other), and willing to make sacrifices that now, are fucking dumb just even to think about it.

So perhaps until someone comes along WORTH the big sacrifices, I shall do what is best for ME. And then again, others have made those sacrifices, and realised in the end how foolish it was to choose her over themselves. Especially when it all ends in tears and foolishness.

And frankly, it's hard to learn to love again.


lip
ranting

Liberalism

Liberalism


1. The state or quality of being liberal.
2.
a. A political theory founded on the natural goodness of humans and the autonomy of the individual and favoring civil and political liberties, government by law with the consent of the governed, and protection from arbitrary authority.
b. often Liberalism The tenets or policies of a Liberal party.

3. An economic theory in favor of laissez-faire, the free market, and the gold standard.

4. Liberalism
a. A 19th-century Protestant movement that favored free intellectual inquiry, stressed the ethical and humanitarian content of Christianity, and de-emphasized dogmatic theology.
b. A 19th-century Roman Catholic movement that favored political democracy and ecclesiastical reform but was theologically orthodox.

from dictionary.com

Let's talk a little bit about liberalism.

I like to think that I am a liberal person. By that, I mean that I do not condone pre-martial sex (PMS), or murder, or moral obscenities like prostituition etc. etc. but I leave you up to your own devices over what you believe in.

Then again, a lot of people don't think PMS or prostituition or drugs or smoking is bad. Or against morals.

So where does morals come from? If I was to argue for a divine being, morality would be black and white, with shades of grey where the masses stand against the Catholic Church. Atheists would argue that morality is just a play between what was right for human evolution, that those actions condoned my the masses would be voted "right" over history, and those actions that are socially unacceptable AT THE POINT IN TIME would be considered weaker and be selected against.

Then again, I have said I am a liberal, but I believe in a Creator (perhaps not Jesus Christ, yet). Would me being a liberal go against my firm beliefs that morality is God-Given?

Sometimes, you know that an action, say, forcing a child to have sex with his father, is an act against nature. Then again, while scouring the Earth as an anthropologist, you find a tribe that practises blatant incest as a sort of ritual. And they accept it.

1. Would God accept it?
2. Would You accept it?

I answer no to question 1, but yet, I answer yes to question 2. I say that because that is that society's choice as it is; I may not fully agree with the morality of it, and come up with various genetic inbreeding SCIENTIFIC reasons to argue against it, but I would accept it, with a curdle in the stomach and distaste in my mouth.

So why do I blog this today?

Mainly it is because I find that I am becoming less and less of what I used to be. Perhaps that innocence of youth is lost (actually, it has never been). But then again, while I may enjoy looking at girls stripping and dancing on the frat party, and ogle at the "interesting" sight of two girls kissing, I would not rape a drunk girl who lay stark naked before me. Not even when I was drunk.

For my morals are my own, and I may frown at you if you rape a girl, but if you are my friend, I will forgive you, if the law may not. I do not need to approve, but I need to give support. As a friend.

And not even when drunk did I do something stupid in my life. I am proud of living the way I have since.

Are you?


lip
ranting

Alcohol

Sometimes, just sometimes, Alcohol seems to be the problem of - and the answer to - all of Man's problems.

I need a drink. After all that's happened. A small ripple, but one that I must address. So now, I have many people pissed at me. But then again, after thinking through, none of it is really my fault.

Whatever. I have a draft post on WHY I HATE CLARENCE. But since he's my friend, (still, though slipped a lot), I shall not post it up, but keep as a reminder of better times.

I need 9 Kamikazes. Please.

lip
ranting

Starsailor - Alcoholic

Don't you know you've got your Daddy's eyes
And your Daddy was an alcoholic
But your mother kept it all inside
Threw it all away

I was looking for another you
And I found another one
I was looking for another you
When I looked round you were gone

Stay by my side
And the pipe dream is yours now
Stay by my side
And the singer won't get in our way

Don't you know you've got your Daddy's eyes
And your Daddy was an alcoholic
But your mother kept it all inside
Threw it all away

I was looking for another you
And I found another one
I was looking for another you
When I looked round you were gone

Stay by my side
And the pipe dream is yours now
Stay by my side
And the cynics won't get in our way

Don't you know you've got your Daddy's eyes
And your Daddy was an alcoholic
But your mother kept it all inside
Threw it all away
I was looking for another chance
To see your blue eyed problem

ranting

FOOL GIRL

To everyone who doesn't believe in getting themselves hurt.

To everyone who doesn't want to hurt those closest to them.

To everyone who wants to keep that sense of innocence and vitality of youth.

Don't do stupid idiotic things. And once you do, learn from mistake that once was, so you don't repeat them again.

Was out with friends and met 2 danes. Frederick and Christina. They bought us drinks. And after drunkedness took over, a friend confessed.

Needless to say, shocking was not even enough to say it.

To think that I believed in her, trust that once was is now not there anymore.

Good luck in your future. And I wish you the best, with your own conscience, and with those around you.


lip
ranting

Blog Searches

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dumb waiter drawings (Yahoo)
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ann, "hwa chong", president, scholar (Yahoo) - DID WE HAVE A PRESIDENT SCHOLAR CALLED ANN?

lip
ranting

Friends and others

When does friendship end and relationships begin?

Or would it be suicidal to forsake a firm friendship that could be, to start a relationship that by far, is less certain but could reap greater rewards if it ever succeeds?

I guess I have become too cynical. But I don't believe in relationships. I don't believe in Cinderella, or Beauty and the Beast, or the Little Mermaid, where every story is a happy ending and people love who they love.

But where does one draw that line, if drawn at all? It is a commitment phobia? Or as Kev puts it: fear of losing a friend?

Sometimes, the Creator puts women in this world just to vex the hell out of men. And to hell with whatever you think about it.

And vice versa.

lip
ranting

Treating People as they deserve

Hello Children.

Today, my lesson is going to be on ren2 yu3 ren2 zhi1 jian1 de guan1 xi4. Or in Engrish: Human Relationships.

Too often, we tend to say hi to people who we want to use. i.e. Oh she's pretty. Hello! That's called Picking Up Girls.

Or, Oooohhhh he drives a Mercedes SLK. That's Being A Bitch.

What happened to old fashioned I-wanna-be-friends-with-you without any strings attached?

I think that that is dead somehow. Being "just friends" comes close to "You look like a pig" in rejection lines used by people nowadays. Just like "I'm not ready for another relationship" ranks close to "Let's just be friends" which sounds like "You look like a pig".

IN OTHER WORDS: EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE A PIG!

Including me.

Case closed. Shat


lip
ranting

Who Am I?

I remember we had this church camp once, back when I was sec 3 or so. The camp theme was "Face Off". I.e. to take off the masks you wear in front of people and face God truly as you are.

The truth is, everybody has a mask to face everyone else. Even themselves. Sometimes, I forgot which mask is it I am wearing. The aloof mask can be worn when meeting people for the first time, a Warmth mask for friends who have known me long.

Or perhaps, a Leave Me Alone mask when I'm in a too big gathering and I need my own personal space.

Or maybe, I am just boring old me. Too boring to even arouse interest from people around me, slipping into the background as I do.

Then there are times when taking charge seems to be the right thing to do, only if others don't take charge before me.

Times when lying seems best to avoid a situation, and other times when you keep digging your own grave just because you've forbidden yourself to lie to save your hide.

Ahhh... Enigma.



lip
ranting

Frequent Flyers

Sending Jeff off at the airport today, off to Michigan he goes.

And I thought that relationships ending were very similar to purchasing airline tickets.

Frequent flyers, for those who can't forget the memories and move on. -expensive, and tiring.

One year return, for those who harbour hopes. -you nver know if the plane ride for the return is secure until the very end.

One way, for those who look ahead and carry on. -cheapest, most exciting, but fear of the unknown.

So pick your ride, and choose your path.

lip
ranting

and so the wind blows

moved on surely,
for memories past,
for times spent,
for happiness shared,
for friendships forged,
for brothers in arms.

to futures unknown,
to pastures greener,
to countries far away,
to a whole life ahead.

moving on.

lip
ranting

TTSH and the Singapore Efficiency Syndrome (SES)

I had a very unpleasant visit to TTSH this morning.

For those not in the know, I made my way to A&E at TTSH last saturday to remove a foreign body in my left eye. I had minor irritation and the appearance of a wrinkle on the cornea of my eye let me to believe that somehow, my LASIK flaps have come undone.

Upon arriving at TTSH at around 5:30 pm, I saw the doctor only at 6:30, after going through the battery of tests to ensure I was not suffering from stroke/heart attack etc etc. Who goes to A&E for eye irritation? LASIK patients that's who.

And so, after removal of the "foreign body" FB in short, the ED doctor (ED=emergency department) made an appointment for me to see my eye surgeon, Dr Lee Hung Ming on Monday at 10.40 am.

And following last night's extreme dota session (woohoo shadow shaman!), I woke up at 10 am dead tired. Reached TTSH at 10.30 and proceeded to the "subsidised patients" section where they classed me under a subsidised patient.

Right. A cosmetic surgical patient whose surgery costs $4.5k to see a normal eye doctor. I rather see Clarence. When he's drunk.

And so, after eye diagnostics, where the nurse asked me if I wore specs, to which I was flabbergasted.

FACT 1: SHE DIDN'T KNOW THE PATIENT'S MEDICAL HISTORY, WHICH IS ON RECORD AND IN THE FILES!

And so, I waited outside some Dr. Chin Chee Soon's office (no offence doctor), along with all the grandmothers and old folks who paid with their medisaves.

And Lo and Behold, I saw 2 M3s (medical year 3s) inside the office, taking peeks at a patient's eye through the eye magnifying equipment.

This is when I thought: I PAID $4.5k FOR LASIK, and NOW my LASIK-ed eye is going to be checked by 2 M3s.

Fuck off TTSH. I'm not giving you $4.5k to get my eye checked by medical year 3s. I can just imagine them going: LOOK AT THE RESHAPED CORNEA *oooooo. aahhhhhh* *fascination*

Fuck off. And so in true Singaporean fashion, I demanded my eye surgeon, because at the point, it seemed clear that the hospital staff had no FUCKING idea what they were doing.

And lo and behold, Dr. Lee Hung Ming would only be in at 2pm.

Bravo. Bravo ED doctor on Saturday, Dr. Kevin Sia, for booking me for an appointment with a senior consultant WHO IS NOT GOING TO BE IN HIS OFFICE!

And so, I had to see some other LASIK trained doctor, who took one look, lasted 5 mins, said it's okay, and charged me $35. All these after several calls to the LASIK centre to ask to speak to Dr. Lee and blah blah blah blah blah.

What efficiency?

On a side note, female doctors are smart and pretty.


lip
ranting

Elitist Groups

Was talking to James on the car ride home (the car ride there was terrible to say the least, got lost with a girl in the car that I didn't know. Wow), and we were talking about who is what faculty.

Fact 1: Most of the people in Medicine are from RI and RGS. GEP.

Fact 2: Most of the people in Law are from RI and RGS. GEP.

Fact 3: Most of the people in Engineering are from HCJC.

And he was lamenting about how he knew no one from engine. And I was going, well, at least you know the lawyers.

And then it struck me.

These lawyers who are going to defend you were the ones who you skipped class with in secondary school.

These doctors operating on you with your triple bypass are those you stripped back in secondary school/army.

You know these folks who look at you with psycho looks in their eyes and proclaim happily that sticking fingers into anuses for anal probes are what keeps them going on a boring tuesday.

And you think to yourself: I need to exercise so I'll never be treated by these doctors whom I know will club the night before my triple bypass.

Exercise people, exercise. It's not too late to keep fit.


lip
ranting

The Dildo Song

What rolls down the stairs
Alone and in pairs
And makes a buzzity sound?

It's long a schlong,
A marvelous dong,
Everyone knows its DILDO!

Go everyone! Sing along and click the link!


ranting

Too late to do anything about it

yada yada yada. I'm going mad from the boredom that is percolating in my head.

Zzz.. hurry up and leave soon. Please.

ranting

LASIK done!

It's 4 am i Know. And frankly, I'm not tired at all. Been sleeping since I came home after the LASIK op at 2 pm. Eyesight is not 6/6 yet, but it's closer to 6/9 or at least 6/7 (if there's such a thing).

My day of operation consists of my dad proceeding down to TTSH to sign the consent form. (As i wasn't 21 years old yet). It cost a COOL $4601.05. $3560 for the actual LASIK (wavefront surgery for me at $1780 per eye) and another $1k for intralase cut instead of the conventional surgical blade to form the corneal flap. And $41.05 for eyedrops and such.

And so, the appointment being made for 11 am, i strolled around Orchard borders prior to that (i had an NSC appt at 8 am which I kept), and had 3 hours to comtemplate what I was going to put myself through. There was a possibility of losing my vision altogether, or even requiring thicker spectacles than I did before due to complications and stuff. But all these are weighed up against the possibility (95%!) of not ever wearing spectacles again.

11 am, walked into LASIK centre at TTSH. They were showing golf on TV. Waited around. Had instruction from a nurse how to use the eyedrops and some post operative care (don't use computers) lol.

Then I went into the OT at around 12.15 pm. Scared. Apprehensive. Blah blah blah. Wore a surgical gown, slippers and surgical hat. Laid down on the surgical bed, which was somewhat like the space bed from "Tintin in space", except there were huge machines over the head area.

First for lasik, they would suction your eye out of your damn socket. You'd lose vision. I wondered at that time if it would be permanant. Then, truly, I'll be in the land of the blind. So i had my eye area cleaned, placed under the Intralase machine and my right eye suctioned out. "Don't move". Right. Eyelids held open by some nifty device. And tada, I couldn't see out of right eye.

Nurse counting, half done, 40%, 70%. I was like... what the fuck am i doing sia. Then doctor said, done. Flap created. Eye pops back in. And i had vision worse then I started off with in that eye. Then the left eye.

Whee. Flaps created in both eyes. Shites. Bubbles are present. So i was ushered out of the OT for 15 mins while the bubbles dissipate. Oh I must add, eyedrops were liberally put every few minutes or so. Anasthetic or lubricant, I really don't know.

So outside the OT, looking out of the window at fluffy white clouds with 2 flaps in my corneals. Pretty scary. I couldn't see properly. my Pupils were dilated, light was blinding. Ouchie. Longest 15 minutes ever. U know, when you have flaps in your eyes, You are really scared to blink. So i blinked only when I couldn't not blink anymore. I wondered if excessive dust got in as a results. Maybe you were supposed to close your eyes all the way. Then I dunno what would be of the flaps.

15 minutes up. Back in OT. Changed to slippers. Doctor says: left eye then right eye. Sitting outside. I heard "tick tick tick", sound of the laser zapping. Asked nurse what it was, nurse says doctor calibrating laser. OKAY...

So in I went. Head under machine. Green light. Red light. White lights. Blinking red light. Doc says look at blinking red light. Righto. Eye clamp put in. Mask put to cover rest of fact except eye. Doctor uses cotton bud to smear liquid all over my corneal. Then some surgical instrument to lift the flap. "look up, look at the light". Right. When you are lifting my flap my vision dunno go wher liao. All over the place. See white light, too bright. So bright it hurts.

Ok flap lifted. Look at blinking red light. Starting. Zap zap zap. Sound sounds like ticking alarm clock, only much louder. You can hear the cells being burned, even smell it. Smells like hair when it gets too close to a candle. Look at blinking red light. Dun move.

Done. Replace flap. HEY!!! BLINKING RED LIGHT APPEARS CLEAR NOW!

Other eye similar. Done.

Doc says: Congratulations on never needing to wear contact lenses or spectacles ever again. Ya right.

Wait outside for dad to pick up. Wearing sunglasses. Everything is slightly clearer. about 200 degrees like that. But everything very bright. On the car journey home, kept tearing and closed eyes because of the light. Even under sunglasses.

Went home. Tearing. Put antibiotics. Tried to sleep. Eyes painful. Burning sensation. Left eye hurts more than right eye. Doctor says no pain. Fucker. Couldn't sleep. Took sleeping pill provided. Tried to relief pain by dabbing away tears with tissue. Still burning pain. fucker. Thought of going blind. Can't open eyes at all.

Went to sleep.

Zzzzz.


lip
ranting

my brother sucks at piano and i'm going nuts from teaching him.

KNNBCCB.
FUCK.
BULLSHIT.

ranting

Yoda

A big part of my blog is about my life.

Thus, when I haven't updated it for a long time, it means that I have NO LIFE.

What a devastating epiphany of knowledge there. But then again, if I have no life, I'll be dead.

Yup. I'm rotting nowadays, in front of the computer. And when LASIK is done tomorrow, I'll have less of a life, because I need to stay home and hope that I don't go blind.

Yay. 11 am surgery. tada.

And about the title, I didn't know what to blog about.


lip
ranting

letsreachoutforthestarswithwingswesoaruphighourdreamswellallachieveletsmakeourdestiny

NDP's next tuesday. Hooray. How very Singaporean to look forward to the one event that fires up the patriot in each and everyone of us, where red flags fly and Malaysia goes to die.

Hey it rhymes.

I'm stuck in this groove that is going like "you're leaving, and you're not going to see all these people ever again, so don't meet them anyway." But I just have to see all the folks that I'm never ever going to see again. How sad. Then again, I'm just too lazy to get out of my house.

Study study study. Drink drink drink. My day again was a boring shite day of stupid primary school experiments that threatened to get your hair burnt. literally.

Bye bye Singapore. And happy birthday.

lip
ranting